Annals of Japery Archives - The Millions

November 23, 2016

Like a Fried Egg Sliding off a Fat Man’s Naked Thigh: 18 Incredible Fair-Use Similes 0

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As a public service, I’m supplying the general public with the following fair-use similes. Sprinkle them throughout your own writing and be amazed by the lift in the overall quality of your work.

October 31, 2016

The Five Scariest Books Ever Written 6

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Here are five absolute chillers that will have you turning pages deep into the night — and are guaranteed to have your teeth a-chattering as you pray for the sun to rise!

September 30, 2016

Fates and Furies on Twitter 3

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What if Lotto and Mathilde were both to tweet?

September 28, 2016

A Fourth Time, I Ask: Are Picture Books Leading Our Children Astray? 6

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There are simply too many books on our children’s shelves that, through deceptively cheery artwork and sly subversion, are destroying our tots from within.

September 23, 2016

The Art of Compassion: On Donald Trump’s Hats 3

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The man’s daughter believes the hat could sink the campaign. She does not understand irony. And so she is shocked when hip kids one borough over begin requesting the hat.

August 22, 2016

An Open Letter to the Teenager Who Ruined My Copy of ‘Ragtime’ 8

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You destroyed Doctorow’s masterpiece; the least you can do is understand my frustration.

August 8, 2016

Critical Reappraisal: ‘Knight Rider: Trust Doesn’t Rust’ 1

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Ignored in its day as a piece of spinner-rack schlock, ‘Trust Doesn’t Rust’ has aged magnificently.

July 25, 2016

The Emails of Natalie Portman and Cormac McCarthy 1

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As it turns out, Jonathan Safran Foer isn’t the only novelist with whom Portman pen-pals.

June 21, 2016

Make the Western Canon Great Again! 11

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I’ll ban all books by immigrant writers until we can figure out what the hell is going on with the Western Canon.

June 14, 2016

Help Me Choose My Next Beach Read 6

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My beach read should help me forget the roaming packs of half-feral children who will no doubt be kicking sand in my eyes and screeching like wounded monkeys. So I don’t want to read Lord of the Flies or Blood Meridian.