Annals of Japery Archives - The Millions

April 26, 2016

The Ultimate Literary Cage Match: Hemingway vs. Faulkner vs. Trump 3


Trump on Love: “There’s nothing more terrible than an ex-spouse with a ten-ton axe to grind, and no agreement on how your common property is to be divided.”

April 21, 2016

I Hope That I’m All Right 1


The riding instructor spent most of my bagel birthday party looking forlornly at the walnut cream cheese spread, mourning her dead horse. It was so uncomfortable

April 13, 2016

An Open Letter to the Person Who Wiped Boogers on My Library Book 11


How do you live your life, Booger-Wiper?

March 24, 2016

A Modern Literary Glossary: Definitions for Our Ever-Changing Reading World 7


Knausgård: To brood incessantly over seemingly trivial matters. (‘Jim is in the study with the lights off, Knausgårding about the Celtics game.’)

February 4, 2016

It’s Time to Play…The Reissue Factor 1


Sorry, it’s a no for us. Lacks emotional depth and the saber-toothed tiger subplot felt forced.

January 29, 2016

Turn the Page: Your Next Rock ‘N’ Roll Book Club 0


Jimmy, I hear you plead, you’re the bard of the beachfront, the Wordsworth of the waves. You once released an album called License to Chill; you write songs about delicious cheeseburgers. Why kick things off with a harrowing, full-bore descent into the savage, blood-spattered heart of our long-dead modern dream?

November 24, 2015

Penny Dreadful: Writing on a Budget 0


When it came time to begin work on a new novel, I headed for a retailer that could help me break into the NYT bestseller list without breaking the bank.

November 2, 2015

#NaGrafWriMo: Welcome to National Paragraph Writing Month! 8


It can take more talent, determination, and hard work to write one good paragraph than an entire lousy book.

October 23, 2015

Thirteen Ways of Looking for Waldo 0


On the top tree branch of the tallest green pine in the deciduous forest / A man named Waldo squats naked cawing at the crows.