Annals of Japery Archives - The Millions
July 25, 2016
As it turns out, Jonathan Safran Foer isn’t the only novelist with whom Portman pen-pals.
June 21, 2016
I’ll ban all books by immigrant writers until we can figure out what the hell is going on with the Western Canon.
June 14, 2016
My beach read should help me forget the roaming packs of half-feral children who will no doubt be kicking sand in my eyes and screeching like wounded monkeys. So I don’t want to read Lord of the Flies or Blood Meridian.
May 27, 2016
The second song was “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” by Rod Stewart. And I remember the dad just got this look in his eye and started jerking around. For a second, I thought he was having a stroke.
May 20, 2016
You said that I was trying to turn you into a thriller when you were really a literary novel. You wanted character; I knew agents wanted plot. We fought.
May 13, 2016
by Lydia Millet
You may have just pulled a long-haul all-nighter from Sheboygan, but here you are, speaking Startalian and, through your casual mastery of the lingo, acquiring a fine-tasting drug, in a vaguely opium-den setting, that’s also perfectly legal.
May 13, 2016
These books helped usher me from my teens into adulthood — and opened my eyes to the breadth, and often the harshness, of the surrounding world. I’d adored these books. So why had I left them in this box, like discarded memories? Looking through them again, I may have found the answer.
April 26, 2016
Trump on Love: “There’s nothing more terrible than an ex-spouse with a ten-ton axe to grind, and no agreement on how your common property is to be divided.”
April 21, 2016
The riding instructor spent most of my bagel birthday party looking forlornly at the walnut cream cheese spread, mourning her dead horse. It was so uncomfortable
April 13, 2016
How do you live your life, Booger-Wiper?