Annals of Japery

February 11, 2015

Yet Again, I Ask: Are Picture Books Leading Our Children Astray? 1

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I’ve recently discovered that the polluted river of wicked picture books has been flowing as strongly as ever. A new crop of titles has until now escaped my benevolent gaze — and in so doing, have tainted our tots with narratives of untold madness and perfidy.

February 11, 2015

Pansexual Free-for-All: My Time As A Writer of Kindle Erotica 11

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All I had to do was be willing to remorselessly pump out paranormal pornography like nobody’s business. Could I accept this challenge?

January 29, 2015

Garnish with a Sprig of Dorothy Parker: The Literary Meet Market 5

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In terms of historical significance, The Summit’s publication falls somewhere between the Yalta Conference and this year’s Baseball Winter Meetings, at which the Yankees shored up their bullpen by signing a pitcher, Andrew Miller, whom Brian Cashman touted as Ron Guidry meets Emily Dickinson.

November 20, 2014

Gather Your Acolytes About You: Advice for Aspiring Writers 4

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Singer. Newly rich individual. Reality TV person. Naked blogger. Politician sexting victim. Politician. Tech mogul. Koch-brother style of oligarch. It is imperative, before you sit down to write, that none of these alternatives are available to you in either the short or medium term.

November 19, 2014

First Encounter of the Worst Kind: On Reading James Patterson at 32,000 Feet 29

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Books like this are for people who don’t really like to read but love to be able to say they have read, much as fruity cocktails are for people who don’t really like to drink but love to get knee-walking drunk.

November 18, 2014

The Robert Burton Diet 4

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Atkins, South Beach, Microbiome, Paleo: all these faddish regimens might slim you down, but can they regulate your humours? I think not.

November 12, 2014

Bookends from the New York Times Book Review: The Rejected Questions 1

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Can the state of contemporary literature be used to forecast stock prices?

August 26, 2014

Nook (Kindle) and Cranny: Literary Travel Suggestions for a 400 Square Foot Apartment 1

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If you can get used to my roommate, I promise it will be an incredible experience.

August 19, 2014

Back to School: Six Strategies for Effective Close Reading 1

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Close reading produces knowledge, and knowledge can be painful.

July 23, 2014

Viral Professors 0

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How would fictional professors, heroes of those quaint works known as campus novels, fare in the world of online education?