Articles by Jacob Lambert

December 4, 2016

A Year in Reading: Jacob Lambert 5

What better way to distance myself from Donald Trump’s noxiousness than to read about an eerily quiet, snowed-in hotel, written decades before the terms ‘basket of deplorables’ and ‘nasty woman’ entered the vernacular?

November 23, 2016

Like a Fried Egg Sliding off a Fat Man’s Naked Thigh: 18 Incredible Fair-Use Similes 0

As a public service, I’m supplying the general public with the following fair-use similes. Sprinkle them throughout your own writing and be amazed by the lift in the overall quality of your work.

October 31, 2016

The Five Scariest Books Ever Written 6

Here are five absolute chillers that will have you turning pages deep into the night — and are guaranteed to have your teeth a-chattering as you pray for the sun to rise!

October 20, 2016

How I Got It: Snoop Doggy Dogg’s ‘Doggystyle’ 0

Cash in hand, I likely lied to my parents about where I was going — playing basketball with friends, not searching for murder-and-misogyny-filled music — and set out.

September 28, 2016

A Fourth Time, I Ask: Are Picture Books Leading Our Children Astray? 6

There are simply too many books on our children’s shelves that, through deceptively cheery artwork and sly subversion, are destroying our tots from within.

August 22, 2016

An Open Letter to the Teenager Who Ruined My Copy of ‘Ragtime’ 8

You destroyed Doctorow’s masterpiece; the least you can do is understand my frustration.

August 8, 2016

Critical Reappraisal: ‘Knight Rider: Trust Doesn’t Rust’ 1

Ignored in its day as a piece of spinner-rack schlock, ‘Trust Doesn’t Rust’ has aged magnificently.

July 25, 2016

The Emails of Natalie Portman and Cormac McCarthy 1

As it turns out, Jonathan Safran Foer isn’t the only novelist with whom Portman pen-pals.

June 29, 2016

Feels Like the First Time: On Discovering Writers 3

When you see a beautiful stranger across a crowded room, the spark fires and you won’t forget the moment.

June 14, 2016

Help Me Choose My Next Beach Read 6

My beach read should help me forget the roaming packs of half-feral children who will no doubt be kicking sand in my eyes and screeching like wounded monkeys. So I don’t want to read Lord of the Flies or Blood Meridian.