Articles by Jacob Lambert

March 17, 2015

Rites of Danhood: On Liking Steely Dan 8

Steely Dan was like nothing I’d ever heard, and not in an enticing way. It seemed to be the worst of jazz and the most boring of rock rolled into one mutant, bad-sex package. It sounded like what sad aliens might listen to when they got around to masturbating.

February 11, 2015

Yet Again, I Ask: Are Picture Books Leading Our Children Astray? 1

I’ve recently discovered that the polluted river of wicked picture books has been flowing as strongly as ever. A new crop of titles has until now escaped my benevolent gaze — and in so doing, have tainted our tots with narratives of untold madness and perfidy.

December 17, 2011

A Year in Reading: Jacob Lambert 2

I felt utterly rabbit-punched. It was the only book I’ve ever read that betrayed me in such a way — like finding that your cousin’s hilarious web video was directed by Adam McKay.

September 22, 2011

The Greatest Story Ever Drawn 4

Despite my initial skepticism, I’m not sure that I’ve read a better graphic novel.

September 8, 2011

Star Wars, Apatow, and the Death of Classic Comedy 2

Judd Apatow and friends, with their hyper-familiar brand of hairy-assed humor, have issued a crushing blow to the suspension of disbelief — and made the gap between old comedy and new unbridgeable.

May 10, 2011

The Dog Massage 3

I am an old dog, yes, but like to think that I’m open to new tricks.

May 5, 2011

Requiem for a Video Store 9

By the latter half of the decade the slide was irreversible: if Blockbuster had been injurious, Netflix was a cancer.  And so was On Demand, Hulu, and the thousand other ways we now put stories before our eyes.

November 24, 2010

The Hot Stove Report: A Parody 3

Now that the 2010 season has ended, it’s time to look at the off-season transactions that will shape next year’s division rivalries and pennant races.  Here, then, are a few of baseball’s most notable available free agents.

October 30, 2010

If You Don’t Read “Cul de Sac,” You Really Probably Should 1

The comic is vibrant, warm, and beautifully drawn; unlike its staggering peers, it’s outrageously alive.

October 22, 2010

The Paper-Reader’s Dilemma 19

You love your books, with their meaning and their warmth, but you’re not some weepy sap.