Annals of Japery

More Soon: A Sampling of Electronic Correspondence with Magazine Editors

By posted at 6:00 am on June 14, 2012 7

From: ‘The Editors’
Subject: Your submission
Date: June 1, 2012 5:15 PM
To: ‘Randy Boyagoda’

Dear Randy Boyagoda,

Thank you for your recent submission. I’m writing to inform you that it has been accepted for publication. I’m truly sorry it’s taken us this long to get back to you. I hope this good news makes it worth the wait!

More soon,
Kate Reed
Associate Editor

At 5:18 PM, June 1, Randy Boyagoda replied:

Dear Kate,
Excellent!!! I look forward to working with you. A couple of questions for now: When will it run? What will you be paying for it? Also, since submitting the piece last year, I’ve come up with some other ideas — can I pitch you on these now, or is it best to wait until we’ve wrapped up this one? Either way, so glad this has worked out!

More soon,
Randy

At 5:20 PM, June 1, Kate Reed replied:

Just leaving for the day but will write back first thing in the morning!
K

At 5:20 PM, June 1, Randy Boyagoda replied:

K,
Sounds good. BTW, do you get around by bike? Pretty sure I’ve seen a Google Image of you on a vintage Dutch commuter. I’m a fixed-gear guy myself. I think there’s still a good emasculation piece waiting to be written about hipsters and fixies. Also, the other day, I asked my 3 yr old niece ‘to hang up’ the phone. She had no idea what I meant. So would the magazine be interested in pieces about anachronistic ‘hang ups’ in the digital age or the gender politics (aka ‘nuts and bolts’) of urban bike culture? Looking forward to hearing from you in the morning about these queries and also about the piece you’ve accepted, R

At 5:23 PM, June 1, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

PS: Rereading my last message, I realize what I’m actually proposing are stories about shifting lexicons, which made me think also about the politics of language. Enough has been written about neocons, theocons, paleocons, etc. What about the people behind it all — the lexicons? How about a piece analyzing Right Wingers talking in highly-coded terms on Drudge, Fox, WSJ, Walking Dead, etc. Seems timely. What do you think?  Until AM, Randy

At 12:00 PM, June 2, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Dear Kate,
I’m checking in about the piece you’ve accepted and also about the other ideas I’ve mentioned. Please write back when you get a chance,
Randy

At 4:45 PM, June 2, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

K,
Any word yet?
R

[These two emails are sent, twice daily, for three weeks, to no reply]

At 6:05 PM, June 23, Kate Reed wrote:

Hi Randy,
Sorry, it’s been crazy here. We lost our mg editor last week and we’re trying to close an issue. Will update you on the piece asap, okay? More soon, Kate

At 6:11 PM, June 23, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Dear Kate,
Sorry to hear about the craziness! I’ve created a playlist to lift/ironize the mood around the office — Leonard Cohen’s “Closing Time,” Neil Young’s “Down to the Wire,” The Doors’ “The End,” etc. It’s available via the Dropbox link below. Don’t worry, I’ll sit tight for now about the piece you’ve accepted — probably running by September? Be strong, your readers and your writers appreciate what you do! Writing as both, Randy

At 6:20 PM, June 23, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

PS: Should I just swing by with some craft beer and pizza? I can still catch the last flight out from Toronto to JFK. Puts me at your office by 1 AM. It’d be great to meet you and everybody, finally!

At 1:05 AM, July 23, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Hey Kate,
How are things? In the morning, I’m driving to Tennessee to go caving (it’s for a book; happy to discuss excerpt options). I’ll be staying at Joe Magnon’s Cave, Camp and Play/Clarksville, TN/(931) 394-0828. I’ve left instructions for immediate extraction if you call. FYI, I’ve also listed you as my “In case of emergency” contact. Can you confirm that’s cool?

I Will See You on the Far Side of the Darkness (working title),
Randy
PS: Other option: “What we talk about when we talk about caves.” Which do you prefer?

At 3:45 AM, July 25, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Kate,
I’m wedged into a rock ledge at the lowest point of the cave, checking email. Can I be reached/can I reach? Seems like the core questions of every human life, from womb/cave to cave/NY magazine office. So just hit ‘Reply’ to confirm you are receiving emails from me. In the dark, in the fetal position, Randy

At 9 AM, August 1, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Hey Kate,
Just checking in to see if you have any updates.
Randy

[This email is sent daily, for two weeks, without reply]

At 9:02 AM, August 17, Kate Reed wrote:

Out-of-office alert

Thanks for your message. I will be away from August 17-20.
More soon, Kate

At 9:25 AM, August 17, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Kate,
Great to hear from you! By chance are you going to alumni weekend at Grinnell College? Your away-dates coincide perfectly, and I might have read something online about you graduating from Grinnell in 2007. I’ve always wanted to visit central Iowa and would be happy to drive down for a visit/maybe look at some edits. Hope you’re up for the same! Let me know where you’re staying, Randy

At 2:25 AM on October 22, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY WON’T YOU REPLY? IT’D BE EASIER TO HAVE MY HUMANITY ACKNOWLEDGED BY A NORTH KOREAN PRISON GUARD! JUST REPLY!

At 5:30 AM, on October 22, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Hey, sorry about the last message. Down to the wire here (can I borrow that playlist?!) with our first pregnancy, and stress, sleeplessness, lower back pain, etc. are spiking for both expectant parents. Totally uncool to take it out on you — please don’t hold it against the piece you’ve accepted. Randy

At 12:45 PM on November 17, Kate Reed wrote:

Hey Randy,

I owe you some replies, sorry. It’s been crazy on this end. I’m about to go to an editorial meeting and your piece is under discussion for our next issue. Only, I can’t find it. Please resend. Thanks! More soon, Kate

At 3:40 PM on November 17, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

UCK! I’m at the hospital with my wife. This baby has ANTASTIC timing! I can’t send the ile rom this ucking public access machine with its ucking broken keyboard but 100% sure I can get home, send the ile, and get back to welcome/meet our irst-born (contractions are still ourteen minutes apart). INALLY! SO EXCITED, Randy

At 3:45 PM, on November 17, Kate Reed wrote:

Randy, congratulations! Don’t worry about the piece (it got bumped anyway) and best to your wife and the new baby. More soon, Kate

At 5:56 PM, on November 17, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Kate, thanks. Randy
PS: I’ve attached the piece and will resend monthly until I hear from you.

At 2:05 PM on April 25, 2013, June Boyagoda wrote:

Dear Ms. Kate Reed,
My beloved son, RANDY BOYAGODA, is an excellent writer and a very good boy. YOU have UPSET him, his wife, and their beautiful new daughter Katherine by delaying the publication of his BRILLIANT article. This is your chance to publish a TRULY UNIQUE Sri Lankan William Shakespeare. Do so IMMEDIATELY or face TERRIFYING consequences. Regards, June Boyagoda

At 5:00 PM on June 14, 2015, Casey Jaynes wrote:

Hey Randy Boyagoda,
As I’m sure you know, Kate has left the mag for grad school. I’ve taken over her gig and wanted to let you know I’d be truly happy to hear new pitches. All best, Casey Jaynes

At 5:02 PM, on June 14, Randy Boyagoda wrote:

Hey Casey Jaynes,
I miss hearing from Kate but I’m truly looking forward to working with you. My first idea is for a “Dear Downton Abbey” column…

Image Credit: Flickr/Jon Gosier





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7 Responses to “More Soon: A Sampling of Electronic Correspondence with Magazine Editors”

  1. Jack M
    at 7:49 am on June 14, 2012

    That was painful. One word comes to mind – “stalker.,”

  2. Johanna van Zanten
    at 10:36 am on June 14, 2012

    hi, That was a funny piece. If it’s a true conversation, so sorry Randy, I feel your pain, nevertheless, funny.
    Johanna van Zanten

  3. Pitching the Editor » First Thoughts | A First Things Blog
    at 11:41 am on June 14, 2012

    […] I have dealt with this writer and many of his cousins, as described in Randy Boyagoda’s More Soon: A Sampling of Electronic Correspondence with Magazine Editors, and — mark this, those of you who want to write for magazines —it doesn’t make an editor […]

  4. n’aie pas peur de sonner l’alarme « The Official Unofficial NEOMFA Blog
    at 12:15 pm on June 14, 2012

    […] 2. Randy Boyagoda exemplifies how not to communicate with editors(?). […]

  5. Patricia
    at 3:09 pm on June 14, 2012

    Folks, check the dates. (The exchange begins in June 2012.)
    A very funny piece!

  6. Caley
    at 6:34 pm on June 14, 2012

    This was hilarious and a great read. My favourite part was that the baby girl was named Katherine – clever!

  7. Elisabeth
    at 8:28 pm on June 15, 2012

    Fantastic, painful. I read it with one eye closed.

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